Anatomy of All Conflict: Marriage;
Coveting Control Awakens Violence
Our first post on control and power, Essence of Sin is Control sans Power, laid the framework for this series. However, the backdrop is the current political situation sweeping the globe as behind the scenes power brokers manipulate their political stooges into preparing the world for socialistic enslave with their consent. The constant that drives people to accept their serfdom is FEAR of losing control. Control is the illusion that one can determine one’s pathway supported by power over others who seek to keep you from being the hero of your own worldview. Yes, a world-wide conspiracy master-minded by the invisible hand of Satan and his minions. This post looks at the beginning of his machinations on earth and gives us insight into the basis of all conflict; especially marital conflict wherein one destroys the only ally one that could help you succeed: Your spouse.
When God presented Man with Woman, who was cloned but modified from him, Man prophetically recognized the interdependence this union produced. Marriage completed him, and her (Ge 2:21-25). Each was not essential to the other for life; but, each was essential to the other for success. The original measure of success was the unbroken relationship with each other and with God. God provided for every need and taught Man who taught Woman both by God’s word and personal example (Ge 2:8-16). There was only one proviso: Tree of Knowledge (Ge 2:17). Man was to get his knowledge from God and not from his own works. This implies that Man and Woman had the dormant inclination to be independent; a characteristic of the flesh of which they were made from the elements of this temporary, physical creation (Ge 2:7). All that was needed was a stimulus to awaken the dormant flesh, to rouse the monster of Covetousness.
Covetousness is the basis for ALL Sin
The Stimulus to Revive Covetousness is: No
Paul wrote that for sin to revive, to be revealed, one must first have a commandment, a “No,” that places a restriction on the Flesh (Ro 7:7-8). God gave just one “No”: “Do not eat of the tree of knowledge!” Man and Woman did not immediately sin. They accepted this injection which shows us that something else was necessary to awaken covetousness. James gives us this essential ingredient: Doubting God (Ja 1:13-15). Our first inclination is to blame God for making a rule. However, life is full of rules and God Himself is subject to the rules of His own nature. God cannot do evil nor does He tempt or test anyone to do evil; i.e., sin. God lives within the bounds of His nature; however, created sentiment beings may live in God or choose to live apart from God. Satan had already decided to live apart from God and since sin demands company, he became the stimulus for Woman and Man to join him in his independence (so called) (Pr 1:8-19; Isa 14:12-15; Ez 28:13-18; Ro 1:28-32).
The Satan {HaSatan}, The Accuser, came to Woman to accuse God of lying and withholding His blessing from her (Ge 3:1-5; Re 12:9-10). The first tactic of temptation is to isolate you from God and from those who could help you. Sin, and sinners, often claim to promote unity but in fact they sow discord and division to bring confusion and doubt (Ps 6:16-19). By questioning her understanding of God’s word, she began to doubt God and then herself; Satan isolated her completely. Woman did not appeal to Man nor to God for assistance. Her isolation was complete resulting in doubt which begets fear. She needed to rely on herself for guidance and for that she will need knowledge, the very commodity Satan accused God of withholding. Thus, just as James wrote, she doubted and turned to her own desire; in other words, covetousness awoken in her flesh and it would never go dormant. What The Satan had accomplished was to get her to consent to her own destruction under the guise of providing an equalizing solution: to be as God. In that instance, Woman turned from an unselfish love of God and Man to a selfish love of Self: Narcissism. In truth, she rejected being in an interdependent relationship with Man and a totally dependent relationship with God to being enslaved to The Satan and sin via her Flesh (Ro 6:15-23). She had life but chose death by relying on herself: lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life (1Jo 2:15-17). Why does Genesis concentrate on Woman and says almost nothing about Man? Not to blame Woman, who was deceived, but to reveal the mechanism by which all of us fall to sin nature in our childhood of innocence. This cannot be said of Man who willingly sinned (1Ti 2:14).
Sin Promises a Special Relationship in Knowledge
Sin Gives an Eternity of Isolation Without God in Pain
John wrote that completed love casts out fear because fear is born of knowledge of judgment (1Jn 4:17-18). The Satan promised the knowledge to be as God but gave only the knowledge of fear of God’s judgment for sin which he knew only too well himself. From this fear comes the conflict seen so clearly when both were confronted by God (Ge 3:8-19). The only unity Man and Woman had was their commonality of fear of God’s judgment: unity in self isolation; they hid from God. Woman blames The Satan and Man blames the Woman; The Satan remains silent for he has already been judged but has also accomplished his goal of sowing discord among the brethren.
In one decision Man turned on Woman as they are now no longer one flesh in nature but only through sexual cohabitation (1Co 6:15-16). Each is isolated from the other through their sin. Their fear and doubt guides each of them to renounce personal responsibility to blame another and thereby escape punishment; which never works (Ro 2:1-6). Sin isolates and divides; this became the basis of marital conflict. Man refused to protect and take responsibility for Woman and Woman in her insecurity would always seek to exercise control over Man. Abraham passed Sarah, his wife, as his sister endangering her to protect himself (Ge 20:1-14). Isaac, his son, learned and practiced this same sin encouraging insecurity in his wife (Ge 26:6-11). It is endemic to all sinners who are fearfully narcissistic seeking to save self at any cost. Even the one element of the original one flesh concept, sexual intimacy, is degraded through sin destroying the trust of both participants while claiming to promote love and unity (Mt 5:27-28). Of all the sins a person can commit, physical immorality sins against one’s own body inflaming the passions that will never be quenched except through salvation (1Co 6:18). Control of physical lusts in a gift of the Spirit and Paul encourages believers to marry rather than burn in passion and betray themselves to sin (1Co 7:8-9; Ga 5:16-23).
Christ during His temptation after His baptism was accosted by The Accuser (Mt 4:1-11). He was tempted in every way as she, and Man. Christ, last Adam, defeated The Accuser because He did not do as they did: He did not fight the battle alone. He received the indwelling Spirit at Baptism and He used the word of God which Man and Woman had. While they wrestled in their flesh abandoning the Word, Christ rested in the Spirit using the Word (2Co 5:17; Ga 2:20). Christ gave up Control to rest in the Spirit even as God, the Son because He came in the Flesh (Ph 2:5-8; He 2:14-18). He did not have Power but Power and its Control came from outside Himself; from the Father via the Spirit.
God made us in the Flesh so that we would be totally dependent on Him for life. The Satan awakened covetousness in the flesh through doubt and fear resulting in the enslavement to sin which brings lies, degradation and death (Jn 8:44). Marriage has been a perpetual example of how men and women promote themselves over the others to achieve their goals only to see the disastrous results in their children’s lives. This is the hidden message of Genesis. Peace can result from (1) Resting in Christ (Mt 11:28-30) and (2) learning forgiveness which only comes as a result of salvation and maturation in Christ (1Co 13:2-8; He 5:11-14).
The World cannot be saved from its path of destruction based on the delusion of Control; but, individuals can be saved and discipled through the Word to begin to achieve the true peace that our parents threw away (1Co 2:14; 13:12). Each maturing Christian marriage has the opportunity to reclaim a piece of this peace as an example to their children; and the world.